19-year-old calls out sister’s boyfriend for eating all the shared food at grandparents’ house after he finishes the steaks meant for everyone and refuses to chip in for groceries: 'Food doesn’t just appear on its own'

People have different appetites, and that's fine. Needing more food is not a lack of manners. But the problem starts when one person eats as if nobody else exists... In a shared family space where older relatives are doing the cooking, and someone else is paying for the groceries.

This sister's boyfriend's behavior is disrespectful and inconsiderate. Even though the grandmother enjoys cooking for them, that doesn't mean she has unlimited energy and unlimited access to groceries just because one guest keeps eating everything.   

Sharing food requires awareness of the existence of other people who also want to eat. If someone is still hungry after eating their portion, they can ask if there is more. They can offer to cook more, or they can even buy the groceries. What they shouldn't do is assume that the food on the table belongs only to them. 

This boyfriend isn't just eating a lot at meals. He's eating food that is meant for everyone. If steaks were cooked for the whole family and he ate the last one before all family members got to eat one, then that's not an appetite problem. That's a consideration problem.

It's understandable that the sister said something to him. If his girlfriend isn't stopping him, then someone should. Raising her voice wasn't ideal, alright. She could have said it more calmly. But at least someone pointed out his behavior. Nobody else seemed willing to address it, and it had happened multiple times. If he's going to stay there, eat there, and benefit from everyone else's labor, he should at least contribute to groceries and ask before eating more. And that is basic manners.